Wednesday, February 27, 2008


A lot of things had happened lately. A lot of thoughts is going through my mind right now. Eveything had ended. When I woke up, I can feel loneliness and emptiness begin to step in. A kind of familiar feeling that I had always felt before I was saved. I know I am not alone, 've God and Ricky and my family and friends still with me. I know I have to move on to a new level of my life, a new stage.

Many times, I asked myself, am I really that strong? Or forcing myself to be strong? I felt so weak and fragile on the inside of me. I must be strong for the sake of the people that is around me. But I am not a superwoman, I am imperfect too.

Yet, I took on responsibilities, the role to comfort another, to counsel, to lead, to be a role model, to do everything I can. My family thinks that I am strong and had able to handle all these things. Maybe yes. But I am really so tired. I wanna stay in my comfort zone. I don't really feel like moving on. I need to wrestle between my flesh and spirit... I know that God is with me. There is a time and season for everything, a time to cry, a time to mourn... I had to move on.

"when I am weak, You make me strong."

The Bible encourages me.
I feel like giving up, He kept me again.
He blessed me to be a salt and light onto my family.
I am tired but God's grace sustained me through it all.
Thoughts began to sink in but God renews my mind afresh.
I felt so heavy, God took away my burdens.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
I am lost, He had given me His direction.
I felt empty, His love falls down.
I am strengthless, God's strength came.

And now I choose to move on...

Thanks to all who have came and comforted me.


Anonymous said...

Hi Cuen, your vanilla cupcakes recipe in IK leads me here. I don't know what's wrong but I can sense your saddness. NO worry, have faith in GOD ya. Take care.


Cuen said...

fThanks alot Jadelotus! I know HE is always faithful :)